Welcome back everyone,
This post unfortunately requires a trigger warning: Mentions of death, depression and suicide.
Given the recent tragedy in Seoul, I want first to express my deepest condolences to everyone affected in Itaewon. My heart goes out to everyone who was affected.
I also want to acknowledge the other tragedies that are happening/have happened around the same time, including the bridge collapse in India and the ongoing war in Ukraine. My heart continues to bleed and my thoughts and prayers are with those affected.
New readers, you’re about to jump into the middle of Namjoon’s life and if you haven’t read my previous blog posts where I’ve tied together Namjoon’s story from 2013 up to 2018 through his lyrics (mostly from the Love Yourself albums), you may lack context. In my blog we build on existing knowledge and I’ve designed it to be read in chronological order.
I was able to create the chronology based on two principles:
- BTS has said over and over again that all of their songs are written based on their past experiences. This means that when a song was written in 2018, it can only be about something that happened prior to 2018.
- While a writer can write a song for someone else to sing, ultimately they are still writing their own story. It is not possible to write an accurate story about someone else’s intimate life and love for their partner in the first person without their input (e.g. Serendipity).
Now, let’s visit Seoul.
1. Seoul
Since there are no official lyrics for this song, “Seoul” is interchangeable with “Soul” and “So”. Hence, you will see me interchange them as per how I feel. Please remember to mix them up and try different combinations in your own time to explore different interpretations!
2. Home sweet home… sort of…
In the cold early morning air
I secretly open my eyes
This city’s harmony is so familiar to me
My childhood days are far away
Even if it is filled with buildings and cars
This is my home now
Seoul, Seoul
From one city to the next, Namjoon wakes up in Seoul.
Even though Namjoon lamented he was “Homesick” in Tokyo, there is no obvious joy or elation from waking up in Seoul today.
This indicates that Namjoon may not be necessarily referring to Seoul when he expressed his homesickness in Tokyo.
Instead, Namjoon’s mood is reflective and soul-searching. He lies in bed quietly.
As he listens to the city’s “harmony” (i.e. Seoul’s soul), he reflects on how far he has come from his childhood days in IIsan and how the train of Life has taken him to Seoul.
2. Soul
Why do you sound like “Seoul”?
What kind of soul* is it you have?
What is it that holds me by your side like this?
I don’t even have anything to reminisce about you
I’m so sick of you now
That same old, ashy facial expression of yours
No, no, I’m afraid of myself
Because I’ve already become a part of you
*This word “soul” was spoken in Hangul, meaning that Namjoon intended for this word to be “soul”. It cannot be interpreted or be mistaken as “Seoul”.
The most common interpretation of this verse is that Namjoon is speaking to Seoul (i.e. Why do you, Seoul, sound like “Soul”?). Hence, to change things up, I will explore two other possible subjects Namjoon can be speaking to in his lyrics.
1. Namjoon’s soul (i.e. Why do you, Soul, sound like “Seoul”?)
Namjoon can be speaking to his soul in the third person just like one does when questioning, chiding or doubting one’s self.
In this interpretation, Namjoon is sick of himself and wonders what type of person he is and “what kind of soul is it you have?” This interpretation is consistent with the story we have seen in the Love Yourself albums where Namjoon found his “whole new myself” and was trying to understand who was the real him, “but I found myself, the whole new myself, I’m confused too, which is the real me?”
Namjoon is sick of “that same old, ashy facial expression” of his. It is that same depressed, bare and ugly face filled with regret that he describes in (Outro): Tear, “ lingering regret crawls over my face… the bare face that only I know, the bare and pathetic old friends within me…” For that reason, there is nothing to “reminisce” about his mundane depressing self.
The ash colour is consistent with the undertones of death and gloominess we saw in Tokyo, “and ash is a thing that someday we all should be”, and Namjoon’s fear “I’m afraid of myself because I’ve already become a part of you” echoes his lyrics in (Outro): Tear when he said, “I was just so scared…“
In this interpretation, Namjoon is scared of his “whole new myself” and the soul he possesses.
2. Someone whose name sounds similar to “Seoul” (i.e. Why do “You” sound like “Seoul”?)
I have demonstrated in my blog the reasons why I believe that Seokjin is the person Namjoon loves. I will briefly summarise the two strongest pieces of evidence from his song Coffee.
In Coffee, Namjoon says: “my half-moon eye smile that I used to show only to you, I’m doing it again these days, my fans are curious.”
These lyrics tell us that:
- ARMYs have seen Namjoon smiling at his lover using his special half-moon eyes. By this logic, this means ARMYs have seen Namjoon’s lover. ARMYs know what the person Namjoon loves looks like.
- Namjoon knows that ARMYs have noticed this and are discussing this amongst themselves “my fans are curious.” This means it is a widespread rumour and Namjoon has known about this since September 2013 when Coffee was released.
- Namjoon only uses this special half-moon eye smile to one person, “I… show only to you.” The lyrics make it clear that Namjoon does not give this half-moon eye smile to anyone else.
Namjoon is famously known for his special honey eyes and smiles towards one person since 2013. That person in Jin.
Namjoon also says “Ah, and I don’t really drink macchiatos, you know that I made it a habit to drink americanos because of you, I wonder what kind of taste it was when we were dating.”
In a fan cafe post, Namjoon makes it clear that he used to drink macchiatos and it was a guy who influenced him to switch to americano.
Additionally, Namjoon has emphasised over and over again how different he and the person he loves is in his lyrics. In real life, Namjoon has always made it clear that he and Jin are complete opposites.
The time Mono takes place is also around the time we identified Namjoon had broken up with the person he loves. The timeline and lyrics match.
If you disagree, no worries please feel free to skip this section, but if you’re open to the possibility that the person Namjoon loves is Seokjin, do keep reading.
Possible wordplay: Seo과
“Seoul” and “Seo” are pronounced the same in English, and I have used the spelling “Seo” (서) in my explanation below so you can see and understand the possible wordplay easier.
Why do you sound like “Seo”?
넌 왜 Seo과 발음이 비슷한 걸까
The character 과 means “with/and”. There are two other choices in Korean to express “with/and”: 하고 (Ha-Go) and (이)랑 (Yi-Rang). We have seen BTS and Namjoon use all three in their lyrics, 과 being the most formal and written one.
Namjoon has chosen to use 과 for these lyrics. If it is an intentional choice, it is a clever and poetic one.
The first alphabet of 과 is ㄱ. This is sometimes romanised as a “K”, other times a “G”.
This is the same alphabet as the last alphabet in Seokjin’s name: 석
The first three alphabet in “Seoul” is spelt as 서 in Hangul.
By using the English pronunciation of “Seo” (서) that sounds like “Seoul” and the “K” fromㄱ, Namjoon is able to hide a subtle wordplay of “Seok” in his lyrics.
3. 10 things I hate about you
As Namjoon may be talking about Seoul itself, his Soul, or a person whose name sounds similar to Seoul, for simplicity’s sake I will refer to this subject as “Seoul”.
A bus that changes its scenery even when I’m still
and buildings that look similar but just a bit different
The scent of life that is repulsive and not
and cold parks pretending to be warm
with people that always wander lost,
Han rivers that take so much Han within,
They who can’t see the sky by themselves*
Grown-up children,
and me who came a bit late
Friends easily say that they’ll leave
Though I try nodding my head, I can’t smile
Though I hate to admit it,
I love everything about you, even your fumes and disgusting side
I love the fishy scent of Cheonggyecheon
I love the lonesomeness of Seonyudo
and even the sigh of a taxi driver who said it’s a good place to live as long as you have money
I love y’all
*Can also be translated as “Swings that can’t see the sky by themselves”
“Seoul” continues to evolve, change and grow even when Namjoon feels like he isn’t “a bus that changes its scenery even when I’m still.” “Seoul” is full of life/is alive and this aliveness repulses Namjoon (or not, he can’t seem to make up his mind).
“Seoul” can be deceiving at times though, “cold parks pretending to be warm.” From the outside, “Seoul” looks fine, alive and bustling. However, if you look closely, you will realise that “Seoul” habours loss, nostalgia, anger, pain, death and hope.
Per Doolset lyrics:
- Han is a Chinese wordplay. It can describe a mix of sorrow, hard work, sweat, nostalgia, anger, pain, and hope as explained in this reddit post. Han (恨) represents emotions, whereas Han (漢) is the name of Han River.
- As of 2016, the suicide rate in South Korea is the 10th highest in the world (according to WHO) and the 2nd highest among OECD countries (according to OECD). Many have committed suicide on Mapo Bridge at the Han River and this bridge has thus been named “Bridge of Life” and started displaying encouraging messages along the parapet.
- The lyrics “Han rivers that take so much Han within” in Hangul may be heard as 한을 품”은,” or 한을 품”는.” However, depending on what you hear changes the nuance completely. When one says “너무 많은 한을 품은 한강들,” it’s a description of a static status. When one says, instead, “너무 많은 한을 품는 한강들” it’s a description of an ongoing situation.
Despite knowing all about “Seoul’s” disgusting, lonesome and dirty side, Namjoon loves it all “I love y’all.”
Of course, this also means that he hates it all.
4. If love and hate are the same…
With the three parallel stories in mind, the chorus can be interpreted in so many ways. I also love the interchangeability of “living” and “leaving” in the bridge as “living” means the act of living and “leaving” implies that the person will “soon no longer be living.” This can mean no longer living (literally) or no longer living in Seoul.
Namjoon lives in a world of dichotomies indeed.
If love and hate are the same words, I love you Seoul
If love and hate are the same words, I hate you Seoul
If you and hate are the same words, I love you Soul
If love and hate are the same words, I hate you Soul
I’m leaving y’all
I’m leaving you
I’m leaving y’all, I’m leaving you (x2)
S(e)oul.
If love and hate are the same words, I love you Soul
If love and hate are the same words, I hate you Soul
If you and hate are the same words, I love you so
If love and hate are the same words,
I hate you so I’m leaving y’all (To be read with the meaning that he is leaving all of us)
I’m leaving “You” (“You” being himself, his Soul)
I’m leaving y’all, I’m leaving you (x2)
Soul.
If love and hate are the same words, I love you so
If love and hate are the same words, I hate you so
If you and hate are the same words, I love you Soul
If love and hate are the same words, I hate you Soul
I’m living y’all (To be read with the meaning “I’m living, y’all” or “I’m alive y’all” or “I’m going to to do my best to live and y’all can’t stop me”)
I’m living you
I’m living y’all, I’m living you (x2)
So.
If love and hate are the same words, I love you Seo
If love and hate are the same words, I hate you so
If you and hate are the same words, I love you Seo
If love and hate are the same words, I hate you so
I’m living y’all (To be read as “I’m going to to do my best to live y’all and you can’t stop me”)
I’m leaving “You” (“You” being Seo)
I’m leaving y’all, I’m leaving you (x2)
So.
So… (yeah)
I love you Seoul (yeah)
I hate you Seo (yeah)
I love you Soul (yeah)
I hate “You” so.
To my readers: And I love you so <3
~ 지
“What is it that holds me by your side like this?”
Not sure, but Seoul always seems to be by Namjoon’s side
Lyric sources:
Doolset lyrics
Genius lyrics
Lyricfind lyrics