(Outro) Tear: By Namjoon

Welcome back everyone,

Hope you’re keeping safe and well. Let’s dig right in and find out the story and meaning behind Outro: Tear.

As always, for the purpose of my analysis I will be referring to Namjoon’s ex-lover as his “ex” or “Her” because I find it helps remove our unconscious bias, allowing us to truly appreciate the lyrics and the story for what it is.

To skip to my final interpretation of the song, please click here.

Assumed Knowledge

I have written this post assuming you know:

• my theory , that all of the songs in LY albums are connected and reveal a story line when read in a specific order;
• the significance of the antithesis relationship between certain songs;
• Joon’s story told so far through Serendipity, DNA, 보조개 (​Dimple), Trivia 承: Love (P1, P2 and the Rose), (Outro) Her: By Namjoon, Singularity, Fake Love and The Truth Untold;
• The Motif of the Lonely Monster; and
• The Point of the Smeraldo Flower.

New Readers:

Hello there and welcome to my blog! I’m sorry to say that if you haven’t read any of the above posts… I may lose you in the detail as my lyrical analyses are built on existing knowledge!

This is simply because all of the songs are interconnected and need to be read in a specific order for it to make sense, just like a book.

You can absolutely still continue to read and follow how I draw meaning from the lyrics, but you may not, for example, understand the significance of the antithesis relationship or be able to truly appreciate what is happening with Namjoon.

If you’re wondering where to start, please start here!

Please also note the assumptions I apply when I analyse songs, and most importantly why I am analysing this song from Namjoon’s perspective. There are three BTS accredited authors for this song, and thus three perspectives. I am currently analysing Joon’s perspective to maintain continuity of his story.

Alright, let’s get it!

1. Outro: Tear – The antithesis of Outro: Her

Based on my observations of the antithesis structure in the Love Yourself albums, I believe that the concept of Outro: Tear will be the exact opposite of Outro: Her.

As you may have previously observed it yourself, the chorus of Outro: Tear, mirrors and echos the chorus for Outro: Her:

In Outro: Her, Namjoon calls his then lover (i.e. “Her”) “my tear” because “She” is “all of my wonder” and “the answer.”

What is clear in Outro: Her, is that calling someone “my tear” is a positive expression.

In theory then, in Outro: Tear, calling someone “my tear” should be used as a negative expression.

As we will see, “tear” is being used in a negative expression in Outro: Tear.

This is consistent with my antithesis observation and confirms that there is intentional structure and order in the Love Yourself albums.

2. Finding Joon’s Perspective

Exactly like Outro: Her, finding the three perspective in Outro: Tear was easy as Joon, Yoongi and Hobi rap three very distinctive parts.

Again, exactly like Outro: Her, Joon raps the first verse and chorus. Thus, these are the lyrics we will be analysing today:

Goodbyes are, for me, tear(s)
Without even knowing, it blooms around my eyes
The words that I could not bring myself to say flow down
And lingering regret crawls over my face
To me, you were once my dear
But now you’re merely a bitter beer
My heart that’s stained with belated self-loathing
Becomes empty even with the passing breeze
At the end of my play where breakup was a lie
The price that I had to pay came to me
If someone said they would turn back the time for me
Would I have been able to be a bit more honest?
The bare face that only I know
The ugly and pathetic old friends within me
Would you still be able to love me again like before
With that smile with which you used look at me
Stop saying things like forever, forever
After all, the end originally exists
If there’s a start, I don’t wanna listen to that
Words that are too correct or too much consolation.. I don’t wanna listen to that
I was just so scared
Because it seemed like perhaps I had never loved you at all
Although it was late, that you were true
That only you loved me
More

You’re my tear
You’re my, you’re my tear
You’re my tear
You’re my, you’re my tear
You’re my tear
You’re my, you’re my tear
What more can I say?
You’re my tear

3. Let’s recap

Before we go on, let’s do a quick recap.

The Truth Untold finished with Namjoon crying alone in his empty sandcastle having just broken up with “Her”. If you have been following my blog and reading each post, you should be able to clearly see how everything we have been discussing so far ties into Joon’s lyrics in Outro: Tear.

However, to ensure we are on the same page, let’s quickly go through them:

1. “Goodbyes are, for me, tear(s)… you were once my dear” – This refers to Joon’s break up as we saw in The Truth Untold.
   
2. “The words that I could not bring myself to say… I was just so scared” – This refers to Joon’s inability to share his true feelings with “Her” due to his lack of courage. We saw this in Singularity, Fake Love and The Truth Untold where Joon suppressed his true feelings and true self because he thinks it is too “ugly” and “ruined”. Due to his lack of courage, Joon ultimately does not reveal his true feelings and true self to “Her”, resulting in their break up.
   
3. “…lingering regret crawls over my face… if someone said they would turn back the time for me would I have been able to be a bit more honest?” – This is again a continuation from The Truth Untold where Namjoon was left alone filled with regret, wondering what would have happened if he had simply had the courage to reveal his true feelings and “ugly” side to “Her”.
   
4. “My heart… becomes empty…” – This is a continuation of Namjoon’s theme of loneliness we saw from The Truth Untold.
   
5. “At the end of my play where breakup was a lie” – This refers to Namjoon pushing his lover away and breaking up with “Her” even though he was still in love with “Her”. We saw this in The Truth Untold.
   
6. “The bare face that only I know, the ugly and pathetic old friends within me” – This refers to the recurring phantom motif, the recurring theme of Namjoon’s ugliness, and Namjoon’s inner demons as explored in The Motif of the Lonely Monster, The SEAcret “Whole New” side of Namjoon and Tonight (이 밤), Singularity, Fake Love and The Truth Untold.

As I hope you can see, there is logic and continuity in the songs in the Love Yourself albums…. if you read it in the right order and with a consistent perspective.

4. The after effects of breaking up with “Her”

Namjoon in Outro: Tear reveals to us the many things he felt and did post break up.

Tear(s)

Goodbyes are, for me tear(s)
Without even knowing, it blooms around my eyes

(이별은 내게 티어
나도 모르게 내 눈가 위에 피어)

In the first sentence, Namjoon writes “tear” (or “tears” , remember there is no way to specify plurality in Korean) in Korean as 티어 (“Tee-Ar”). This is written phonetically the same as “tear.”

There is a specific Korean word for (crying) tears, which is 눈물 (Nun Mul); and a specific Korean word for tear (i.e. ripped, torn apart, etc), which is 찢다 (Jjij Da).

The significance of this, is that Namjoon is intentionally spelling “tear” phonetically in Korean so that it is open to interpretation.

Thus, 티어 can be interpreted two ways: Crying tears and/or tear, like being torn and ripped apart.

Poetically, that one sentence can have the following meanings:

Goodbyes (i.e. break ups) are sad and painful to me, and make me cry; and/or

Goodbyes tear my heart and soul apart.

In the next line, Namjoon uses a flower metaphor to describe his (crying) tears, “it blooms around my eyes.”

Given we have just talked about the Smeraldo Flowers, I would like to think that Namjoon the poet was thinking about them when he wrote that line.

As we have read, one of the meanings the Smeraldo Flowers can represent is true feelings.

Poetically, this can be read as:

Without even knowing, my true feelings of pain, sorrow and regret that I (Namjoon) held deep side me, was expressed out in the form of tears.

Drinking

To me, you were once my dear
But now you’re merely a bitter beer

In the above lyrics, Namjoon is lamenting about how he used to think of his ex as “my dear” , but now the thought of “Her” is like a “bitter beer.”

Besides the sad but beautiful and somewhat self-destructive rhyming of “dear” and “beer”, we can infer from this that Namjoon is nursing his broken heart (as one does) by drinking alcohol.

The word “bitter” further conveys to us that Namjoon is not drinking for pleasure… nor is he drinking something light.

Namjoon is forcing a drink down, a beer that is heavy, strong in alcohol content, bad tasting and thus, “bitter” .

Self-loathing

My heart that’s stained with belated self-loathing
Becomes empty even with the passing breeze

(때늦은 자기혐오로 얼룩진 심장은
스치는 저 바람에도 비어)

For my new readers who don’t know Korean, 진 is how Jin spells his name, and it also means “truth” . I have explained in my previous blog posts why I believe Jin is Namjoon’s lover/ex-lover.

“Stained” in Korean is 얼룩진, poetically, this line can also be read as:

My heart that’s stained (by Jin) and with belated self-loathing.

Metaphorically and poetically, Namjoon is saying that Jin has made a mark in his heart… a stain that he can’t get rid of.

However, the word “stain” holds negative connotations of dirtiness and ugliness (e.g. an ugly stained shirt). This conveys to us that this imprint, left by Jin, is unwanted and further adds to the unsightliness of Namjoon’s already self-assessed “grotesqueness”.

Interestingly, Namjoon expresses to us that his heart is filled with belated self-loathing.

This implies that Namjoon is experiencing a delayed reaction.

This leads us to imagine Namjoon, sitting alone, swallowing his bitter beer with tears running down his face, coming to the slow but gradual sinking realisation that he and his ex have really… truly… broken up… We can almost imagine Namjoon chastising himself because of how silly he was, how he regrets his decision, and oh how he hates himself for for being such a coward! If only he had a little bit more courage!

As he continues to down his bitter beer and drink away his sorrows, his beer bottle, like his stained heart, “becomes empty even with each passing breeze…”

Wondering with a heart full of regret

If someone said they would turn back the time for me
Would I have been able to be a bit more honest?
The bare face that only I know
The ugly and pathetic old friends within me
Would you still be able to love me again like before
With that smile with which you used look at me

Namjoon wonders if:

• given a second chance, could he have been “a little more honest” to show his “bare face” and the “ugly and pathetic old friends within me” ? And;
• his ex saw his “bare face” and “ugly and pathetic old friends” , would “She” have been able to continue loving him in the same way?

We can infer that the “ugly and pathetic old friends” refer to his inner demons as discussed in The SEAcret “Whole New” side of Namjoon and Tonight (이 밤).

Of interest to note, Namjoon says: “the bare face that only I know.” This implies that at the point in time this story was set at, no BTS Member nor anyone else has seen the true seriousness of Namjoon’s inner “ugliness” and inner demons.

In addition, Namjoon specified that his “friends” are old. We can infer from this that Namjoon has had these inner “ugly and pathetic” friends within him for a while.

Namjoon for a long period of time was alone by himself, fighting and dealing with his inner demons because he was too scared to talk about them to anyone else.

5. The after effects of breaking up with Namjoon

Stop saying things like forever, forever
After all, the end originally exists
If there’s a start, I don’t wanna listen to that
Words that are too correct or too much consolation.. I don’t wanna listen to that

We just learnt that post break up, Namjoon drunk alcohol, cried and wondered how different things could have been if he simply had more courage.

Now, switching sides, let’s learn about what Namjoon’s ex did post break up.

Namjoon tells “Her” to “stop saying things like forever, forever.” We can infer from this that Namjoon’s ex has been making promises to Namjoon about something being “forever” .

Having observed that in:

• DNA, Namjoon and his ex believed so deeply that their destinies to be together are written into their DNA, to the point that even if they die “through the infinite centuries and behind, in the previous life and maybe next too” , they will still always find their way back to each other and be “eternally together” ;
  
• 보조개 (​Dimple), Namjoon and his ex were so deeply in love that they vowed to be with each other ‘Till Death Do Us Part’; and
  
• Outro: Her, Namjoon explicitly said that his ex told him that “She” wants to die with him…

…I believe we can infer with a high level of confidence that Namjoon’s ex is telling Namjoon that even though they have broken up… “Her” love for him is forever.

In addition to that, Namjoon’s ex keeps saying “words that are too correct or too much consolation” and something about “a [new] start.”

We can gain the following insights from these lyrics. Namjoon’s ex is:

1. consoling Namjoon about the break up;
2. saying all the “correct” things. We can infer from this that his ex is saying things to the effect of “it is okay, everything will be fine”;
3. offering a new start to their relationship, which Namjoon rejects (“If there’s a start, I don’t wanna listen to that” ); and
4. most interestingly… still very present in Namjoon’s life even after they broke up.

Namjoon’s ex did not walk away, disappear or stop talking to Namjoon after they broke up.

Instead, “She” continued to exist in his life and ironically enough, was the one kindly consoling Namjoon even though he was the reason they broke up.

The irony of this situation isn’t lost by Namjoon who in the heat of the moment repeatedly raps “I don’t wanna listen to that(!)” , waving off his ex-lover’s words, clutching on to whatever shred of pride he has left, and hiding his shame.

We can understand that Namjoon reacted that way to his ex simply because he “was just so scared” of showing his true “pathetic” self to “Her”.

However, Namjoon’s dismissive and defensive actions, words and attitude towards “Her” appear to have been unjustifiably harsh and unkind because we see Namjoon (belatedly and guiltily) realise that “it seemed like perhaps I had never loved you at all…”

Namjoon laments sorrily that:

Although it was late, that you were true
That only you loved me, More

늦었지만 넌 진실했다고
너만 나를 사랑했다고 더

Poetically, these lyrics can be read with the following meaning:

Although it took me a while… I did finally realised, (Jin), that your words of consolations were true and sincere, and that it was simply because you loved me more.

6. You’re my tear

You’re my tear
You’re my, you’re my tear
You’re my tear
You’re my, you’re my tear
You’re my tear
You’re my, you’re my tear
What more can I say?
You’re my tear

Namjoon’s story ends with the above chorus and in his chorus, “tear” is clearly pronounced as (crying) tears.

The monotonic repetition of (crying) “tear(s)” in Namjoon’s chorus conveys to us that to Namjoon, his ex, who used to be his “wonder” and “answer” , is now a painful memory that causes him many, many… many tears.

Author’s Summary

In Outro: Tear, Namjoon reflects back on the break up that he caused by not having the courage to show his true self to his ex lover.

The memory of being with his ex is so painful, it causes him many tears. Interestingly, Namjoon’s ex continues to exist in Namjoon’s life, and even comforts him with words of consolation.

Namjoon reacts to his ex unkindly, saying he doesn’t want to listen to “Her” consoling and comforting words. He realises later however, that his reaction was too strong and he may have appeared to his ex as if he had never loved “Her” at all.

Namjoon ends the last chapter of Part 2, full of regret and shame, alone with his ugly and pathetic inner demon friends that no one has truly seen.

Author’s Thoughts:

And that is all for today everyone, thank you for reading and for your support!

To be honest, I don’t know who I feel more heartbroken for… Namjoon or Jin. The unfortunate paradox of love is that you always end up hurting the one that you love the most.

Namjoon was simply being human, wanting to appear “fine” to everyone (including Jin) and to only show everyone his good side. In addition, given he is the leader of BTS with ambitious goals, swimming in an industry full of sharks, I can only imagine the pressure and need he must have felt to put on a brave and confident face. Even if it was a fake one.

However, Jin being the true and sincere person he is, can sniff a whiff of fakeness from miles away and will not stand any sort of fakeness in a relationship. Despite his inability to continue to be in a fake relationship, Jin continued to love Joon, and even tried to console him. He is just that kind and understanding type of person. Thus, I can only imagine how hurt he must have felt when Namjoon reacted unkindly to his sincere words of consolation.

It has also been incredibly fascinating to analyse Namjoon’s lyrics and realise how much of a rigid dichotomy he has built into his lyrics and into the structure of the Love Yourself albums, contrasting how he and Jin are complete opposites: Angel vs Devil, Heaven vs Hell, Beautiful vs Ugly, With self-control vs Utterly zero self-control, Honest vs Sinful, Real vs Fake, Truth vs Lies (i.e. lying that he is “fine”), Flower vs Monster, and Kind vs Unkind. Have I missed any?

Anyway, it is really mind-boggling when you let all that sink in… Opposites do attract indeed… Could you have ever imagined that the Love Yourself albums contained this wonderful forbidden secret love story between an Angel and Devil, symbolised by a Rose for passion and secrecy? It is just poetic on every single level.

And to any Harry Potter fans out there, personally I think this is the love story of the century between a Slytherin and a Hufflepuff.

Remember, Slytherins aren’t inherently bad, it is just that their dominant trait is that they are ambitious, which can lead them down dark paths as they do anything to achieve their goals.

Given how Namjoon keeps characterising himself as a devil and as someone with little self-control, I can’t help but wonder that a big part of the reason BTS and Namjoon continued to stay on the clean straight path all these years is because of a certain Hufflepuff who is really, the man behind Namjoon; setting the right values, and sitting down with him to discuss how they should “lead the kids” when they started their BTS journey.

Namjoon’s ambition was important to set the right goals and expectations for BTS to raise themselves to. But, Jin was imperative as to how they will get there and what type of people they would be and become.

BTS would have faced many temptations to take the easy path, become defensive, or make angry comments, etc, especially in the heat of the moment given their ill treatment, relentless media attacks, xenophobia and utter lack of acknowledgement throughout the years.

They were so young when they would have started experiencing online and industry bullying and abuse, it is literally the perfect recipe to cook out a dark wizard.

Instead, BTS established a strong work ethic, retained their warmth, continued to stay as true as they could to themselves, to each other, to us, and remained humble and hardworking as they churn out masterpieces of art with integrity.

In my mind, it would have been incredibly difficult for a whole team of seven young boys (JK was only 14 or 15 when he joined BTS), who were no doubt still learning about themselves to grow into the inclusive, honest humble and hardworking young men they are today if there was no one in their immediate influence leading them by example.

Anyway, thanks for listening to my thoughts and I hope you are all enjoying my blog! Please subscribe to my blog below, share this with your friends, and/or connect with me on Twitter! Your support is much appreciated! 🙂

x G

Lyric sources: Genius lyrics,
Please note that I did change some of the lyrics. Changes were made where I thought it could be expressed better. I did not make any major changes that would materially impact the meaning of the lyrics.

Disclaimer:

As per my first author’s note, please, no hate!

I do not have a shipping or individual bias, I love all seven members equally and I do not write my blogs because of a particular personal desire for one of them. I reached my conclusion on Joon and Jin being together based on the lyrics, logic and patterns as I have discussed in all my posts (i.e. I did not ship Namjin first, and then started trying to find things to prove my point). I genuinely enjoy all ships because I enjoy watching the different chemistries between the boys.

It does not matter one bit to me if they are straight, gay, intersex, a skrull, a mutant or if they could lay eggs. I love them wholeheartedly (as a sister who would love her younger brothers) for their individual selves.

This theory of Outro: Tear is based on my interpretations of its lyrics. Please enjoy.